A Birthday I will never Forget

I have been looking forward to my birthday, well since last year. Lol. I've come to learn that I am kind of a birthday princess. I love my birthday. This was the first year that I have decided NOT to work on my birthday. I put Jesse in charge of planning a day for us. He never disappoints, so I always am eager to learn what he has in store for me. For starters he gave me a brand new Surface Pro Computer laptop for Christmas and my birthday combined. So now I don't have to borrow his laptop when I need to blog. 

This past week EVERY boy has been sick. Jesse has been glued to the couch for the past 4 days. He would try and do the dishes and it would wear him out and he'd have to take a nap. Fynn was feeling the sane way. Ryker an Cyrus were sick, but not nearly as bad as Jesse and Fynn. Me? Well I was still hanging on to the hope that I wouldn't get it. 

Last night Jesse told me what he had planned for today. Originally he wanted to take me on a hike (since I love doing that so much lately), but with how he's been feeling he opted out of that (which I was completely understanding to). He then told me his plan B. And that was a couples massage at 3:30pm, dinner and a movie. Sounds fantastic to me. 

This morning I went to the gym. The owner was cool enough to program a tough workout in honor of my birthday. Since I had until 3:30pm, I went to the grocery stores to get all our food for next week's menu. 

I got home and Fynnie was chasing the boys around, but his breathing was not normal. Every inhale was a wheeze and every exhale was a cough. But I wasn't too alarmed because he was running around. 

I showered and climbed into bed, because I could. It's my birthday. Jesse thought a steamy shower would be helpful for Fynn so he showered with him. When he got out Fynn climbed into bed with me. His breathing was not improved from the shower. Jesse dressed him and I told him we should call the doctor to see what they think. He had days of steroids (24th, 25th and 26th), so his breathing seemed like it shouldn't sound this bad. 

We were on hold for 10 minutes waiting to talk to the front desk. By that time Fynn fell asleep on Jesse's chest. As we were talking with the nurse about Fynn's condition she told us that we could go to the appointment available at 2:10pm or go to the hospital. At this time is was about 1pm and we just thought we could just take Fynn to the doctor. The hospital didn't seem like it would be necessary. We got off the phone and about that time Fynn woke up. And his breathing was not good. Jesse looked at me and said "I think we should take him to Primary's." And when your paramedic husband tells you that... you listen. 

He told me that they would probably do a breathing treatment on him and he'll be back in a few hours to take me to dinner and a movie. No problem. 

But it was too late to cancel the couples massage. So we called Heidi and Jesse insisted on her coming out here to go with me instead of him. I'm feeling guilty that my husband is going to the ER with our 2 year old while I go and get a massage. But he was feeling like he wanted me to still have a birthday.

So Heidi picked me up and we went and got a couples massage together. I find it awesome and funny that we are both comfortable enough with each other to go and get a couples massage together.

When we arrived they had us change into robes and I had to send Jesse a picture of us. He was checked in and I didn't hear anything from him until we got out of the massage.

When we got out I had a few texts and pictures from him and the one that alarmed me was that Fynn was in the PICU and almost was intubated. I called immediately. Jesse was very calm (which I found out later that he was trying not to freak me out on my birthday). But when you hear that your 2 year old is checked into the PICU you know that it's serious.

He told me that he canceled the movie since he thought I wouldn't want to go to a movie while Fynn was in the PICU.

Heidi and I grabbed a couple of pizza's for all of us at Blaze Pizza (my favorite lately) and hurried home to Ryker and Cy. They had just been chillin at home while we were all gone. We ate our dinner as fast as possible and I packed a bag for Jesse. He also had told me that they only allowed ONE parent to stay the night in the PICU. And he said that he would.

Heidi stayed a little after I left for the hospital and got the boys packed up and cleaned up the house. She's the greatest. Honestly. I was feeling ever so grateful for her. She knows how to insert herself to help me without overwhelming me. I was given the peace of knowing my older 2 boys would be in good hands.

The drive there felt forever long. I know that Primary's is only 20-30 mins from our house, but it felt so much longer than that trying to get there.

When I finally arrived and made my way to the PICU, my heart just sunk when I saw Fynnie laying in the hospital bed hardly responding to me. I couldn't keep my composure. Is this really happening to us right now? This is a first for our family. Never thought I would experience the PICU. Oh Fynnie my heart just breaks as I sat next to his hospital bed.

Jesse informed me that Fynn was tested positive with INFLUENZA A which was causing croup.  It turned out to be such a blessing that Jesse decided to take Fynn to the hospital when he did, because when they arrived Fynn was going down hill quickly. I've asked Jesse to write up his side of the story as well, so there will be more detail of this. 

While in the PICU Jesse pulled me aside and said to me "Ash, this has been all more serious than I have been telling you. I didn't want to freak you out, but this is serious." 

He then went onto explain everything that had happened up until this point. Before I let him chime in I'll briefly tell you that Fynn didn't respond to a breathing treatment, so they thought it was bacterial. So they had to scope him. No Bacteria. Then they did an X-ray. That's where it got serious. Before long 15 people are around Fynn yelling different orders and one of them was INTUBATION. Jesse teared up and asked them not to intubate if they didn't have to. Jesse can explain in further detail than I can. 

JESSE:

He was zoned in on the TV most the time, but occasionally he would cry out or cough and you could just hear the tightness in his throat. He wasn't aloud to eat or drink anything except a tiny amount of water after taking some Tamiflu.

When the time came me to go home I just cried so hard. I thought maybe I should just cancel my whole day at the salon. But then where am I going to put an 9 hour day somewhere else in my life? Jesse told me that I should go. He reassured me that he would take good care of him. I made him swear to me that he HAD to call me with any new news on Fynn. Even if it was 3am.

Even still I couldn't handle the fact that I was literally walking away from my child. Would he think that I was abandoning him? Oh my mama heart couldn't handle it. To help me feel better Jesse said he would walk me to my car. Fynn didn't even seem to realize that we were there, but when we started to leave he started to cry (with what little voice he had left). Oh that was just the worst thing. He really was sad that we were leaving. The nurse was so great though and jumped right in to distract him while we left.

I made it home and had the hardest time falling asleep. But I managed.