May

May 3

"I came across a picture yesterday of Fynn 2 years ago and he and squishy cheeks, chunky legs and big eyes. It made me kinda want to cry. When did he turn into this toddler full of personality? How has it been 2 years? He's my last one so I find myself aching with every phase he passes. It almost gives me anxiety that he's growing up. I never understood when moms would say "they'll always be my baby", until now. He'll always be my baby!"

 May 4
I am not kidding you this is what happened EVERY SINGLE DAY. They dug in the dirt for as long as they could. Fynn did it all day and then when the older boys got home from school they were joining in on the fun.

 May 7
Fynn had his own set of Tonka Trucks that he was playing with all the time.

 May 7- Happy 13th Anniversary
With the huge home renovations going on our anniversary date night was low key that night. I was given a rain check for an overnight stay when Jesse wouldn't be so overwhelmed with all the details of the house. We went to dinner and the latest Marvel movie (which has become an anniversary tradition since 2011). Jesse almost couldn't enjoy the movie because he coudln't get his mind off the foundation forms. Poor thing.

We are blessed to have each other. We genuinely love and promise to love the other... Forever!

 May 8-
Like I mentioned earlier, Fynn went outside everyday to play in the dirt. This particular morning he woke up and grabbed his boots and headed out the door without breakfast. Every day he was waking up to his dream. I mean that literally too. There was one night that Jesse was on duty and Fynn found his way into my bed. I let him sleep on Jesse's side of the bed. And as I was falling back asleep I hear Fynn utter in his sleep "I play dirt".

He was living his dreams everyday playing in the dirt. And all he needs is a pair of boots and undies.

May 13- Mother's Day

"I learned today that if you ask your boys the night before mother's day to be super good for you be getting ready for church, being happy and take a picture together in our church clothes....doesn't work....and backfires. We were all in tears before church even started. But after church they made it up to me. The evening with them and my family was delightful. The guys cooked for all the women to give us a night off.

Sure motherhood isn't always peaches and cream. It certainly has the unwanted low. But, it's those moments that we learn and grow from. These 3 boys are my life, my everything, and my reason to get up every day. They are what makes me... ME! I love being a MOM!"

May 18-

This was a special experience that I'm glad I wrote it down so I could document my true emotions on here. 

"WE DID IT!!! This morning we finished the Book of Mormon. It took us 2 school years to do it, but we did it. We only had 2 chapters left this morning and as we were reading the spirit that was present was so tender, so powerful, SO REAL! The tears came and didn't stop. The boys could feel it too and the tears flowed down their faces as well. The power in that book is REAL! We know it's true! We even took on Moroni's challenge in Moroni 10:4 to '...ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.' Ryker offered this prayer and my heart felt as if it were going to burst. It was so filled with love. Love for my 3 boys. Love for God. Love for the testimony and knowledge we gained from the Book of Mormon. And love from the Holy Ghost testifying to our hearts of this truth!

In that moment, all of the rough mornings was WORTH IT!"

 May 19-
Cy finished up his season! He's gradually growing in his football ability. Even thought he's only 7...(and often stands around) he loves the game and he's very happy when he pulls a flag!

 May 20-
My neighbor actually took this picture and text it to me. She told me "I'm sure right now everything in your life feels totally crazy, but I know when I was remodeling our house I look back on pictures like this with fondness."
She's right, I do love seeing the mess the my boys amidst the dirt worKing/playing really hard.

 May 23- Concrete Day!
This was one of the coolest moments in the project. Pulling up to the house seeing the concrete trucks and the huge pump parked in front of our house was EXCITING!!! I've never been this close to this kind of equipment before and to see them in action.... until that day.

The man in the bright yellow shirt was the operator of the pump. He had a remote control pack on his front. He maneuvered the arm of the pump around the foundation forms. My dad was there to help and Jesse used the vibrator to help the concrete settle and not have huge bubbles.

I know Jesse was really worried about this day. He didn't want to have any blowouts. I remember the pumper guy telling Jesse that he did a better job putting the foundation forms together than some of the professionals. That made him feel pretty good. There was one little blowout on the retaining wall area, but because of that wall being a problem it was hard to get in and secure the bottom. But the blowout was contained quickly and was no big deal.

We had other neighbors over there helping us finalize things. And several kids playing on the front dirt hill. It was a neighborhood event.

I helped with the smoothing process out on the top of the wall. This was a Wednesday and I was suppose to work, but things fell through and I only had to work a little bit. I helped Jesse in the morning to get everything secured. I left for a little bit then came back to see it wrap up the day.

Our neighbor Jeff Noall is also working on his house and has a little retaining wall that he was putting in. He often would stop by to help Jesse put the forms together. On this day when we were pouring the Noall's were actually piggy backing on the pump cost and we ordered concrete for both us and them. As we were nearing the end we were running low on concrete and there wasn't going to be enough for Jeff. Jesse missed some calculations somewhere and ordered his portion of concrete too small. But the silver lining in this was that Jeff had his order in the mix and we were able to just use his. Jeff had to pour another day, but if it hadn't had been for him we would have half poured the foundation. It weakens it quite a bit if this happens. So thank goodness that didn't happen. 

"I can't help but brag about this husband of mine. Thing is, I don't even know where to start. I have always known he's pretty incredible. But lately he's exceeded beyond the point of me even fully comprehending his talents and abilities. I had the opportunity to work by his side today and I LOVED it. He's so patient with me as I ask him a bunch of questions and teaching me how to do certain things. He's so knowledgeable about EVERYTHING! He's a problem solver. A fast learner. A teacher (to himself and to others). Calm under the pressure. Strong and hardworking. Rugged. Even covered in dirt/concrete he's handsome! He's quite the MAN! And I kinda like him!"

 May 24- Spring Flag Football officially wrapped up

Ryker's team (The Panthers) played a tough game against the Broncos. Both teams were undefeated... and we came in second. They had an incredible season and I personally have enjoyed watching his passion in this sport. I see so much of my own drive and competitive nature in him so I can relate to him when he's putting pressure on himself to play well. Throughout the season the refs selected 2 players every game that showed good athleticism and sportsman like conduct. Ryker was picked every game and because of that he was selected to play in the ALL-STAR game that night after the championship game.

He's a good kid on and off the field!

Also that day we had several friends, family and neighbors come by to help Jesse take the forms off. They were there until 11:45pm.

11 hrs of working.....

....11 hrs before that.

 May 25- Memorial Weekend Boating

The Seaman's spontaneously invited us to go boating with them. And because Jesse was at a moment for the first time in a month and a half where he could actually go play for a min... we accepted the invite.

It was good to see him relaxing a little bit and enjoying himself.

 May 28- Memorial Day

I have never really had someone to put flowers on their grave.,, until now.  I get choked up every time I go visit her.

Everyday I think about her. Everyday I ache to have a conversation with her. Everyday I wonder how she's doing? What she's doing? Every time I'm feeling sad I want to hear her laugh and tell me everything will be ok. Everytime something makes me laugh I want to share it with her. And everyday I think of how much I LOVE HER!!!
#harmstrong

Happy Memorial Day!

 May 31
All day, every day this boy is in the dirt digging with his "EXCA-BATORS", "DUMP-DUMPS" and "KID-DEARS".

April

April 1 Easter fell on Conference Weekend this year. Jesse was on duty so I had the whole day with my boys to my self. I made an effort to have Conference Squares (Bingo Cards) for the boys to pay attention to the speakers. I got pieces of candy to use as markers. When they got a bingo and blackout they got to eat their treats. 

Easter an Conference makes my heart feel very full. Full of Gratitude. Gratitude for my SAVIOR and REDEEMER Jesus Christ. It is difficult to really grasp what He experienced and felt for, not only me, but for every person ever to live. He paid for something he had not done. He paid for sins he did not commit. Why? The answer is LOVE! A kind of love that I can only comprehend a small portion of. A kind of love so infinite that made  it possible for us to live again. A kind of love that provides the ability for me to be with these 3 boys FOREVER!!!!

 Apr 2 Spring Break-
Fifth Water Hot Springs Hike

We decided for Spring Break to make it a "STAY-CATION". Jesse had the week off and I worked very little so that we could take the boys to do activities around town. The first day we decided to take the boys to 5th water hot springs.

Back in the winter of 2005(maybe 2006?) Jesse and I hiked with some good friends (Bret & Courtney) to these springs. I was giddy to give my own boys this experience 12/13 years later.

We had a little bit of whining as we were hiking but once we got to the springs all those worries went out the window. They couldn't wait to get in.

Fynn and Cy had a bunny transfer tattoo thing on their faces from Grandma Heidi. She gave it to them for Easter. And it didn't come off for like a week.

 Apr 3 Spring Break- Jordon River Open House

The Jordon River Temple was closed for remodeling and renovations. When I found out the open house would be during the week of Spring Break I wanted to do that for sure. I like to give my boys every chance to go through the temple whenever the opportunity arises.

I got a kick out of Fynn and his little booties.

He was freezing and found refuge in grandma's jacket.

After the openhouse we took the boys to The Living Planet Aquarium. The boys have all been there before so they enjoyed giving us a tour of the place.

By far our favorite part was the Butterfly Encounter. It reminded of us our honeymoon to Florida where we went to a Butterfly Atrium during that week. I enjoy finding the moments to reminisce of fond memories. Better yet, I enjoy creating new memories with the 3 added boys in my life.

That look of awe and wonder on Fynn's face kills me.

I love his concentration joyful look.

I felt like a little kid

 Apr 5- I moved into a new salon... Again
Let me share what I recorded...
"I've been contemplating God's hand in my life especially in the last year. I've seen how much he is aware of me and LOVES me. It's humbling and uplifting.
11 months ago I had a strong prompting to move salons after working for 11.5 years in the same place. The leap of faith required took alot of trust in the Lord. And it all worked out just fine. I was able to heal and be forgiving from a terrible situation I was in at the original place. Well, one of the stylists I became friends with at my new place told me in January she was opening a salon of her own. She wanted me to come with her, but didn't pressure me. My thoughts were: I had just moved salons 9 months before that and my clients might think that I've lost my mind. But I was feeling a strong positive pull/connection to her.
So, I pondered and prayed about it for a few months and came to the conclusion I came to is this: God guided me to that salon to find her and I needed to find her so I could/should go with her to her salon.
Isn't that cool?
11 months turned into a stepping stone to a new chapter.
This past week I moved my stuff over to her new place. It's still undergoing the remodel, but it's all ok. I've felt so much peace about all of this. It confirms to me that THIS is what God intends for me right NOW! He sure is Great! I love Him for guiding me through my life and being mindful of ME!"

 Day 4 of our Spring Break Stay-Cation- Cross E Ranch
I was gushing over all the baby animals at the ranch. I think I have a little farm girl in me because I wanted to take home all the babies... even the piglets, but especially the baby goats and chicks.

Or it could have even been because the smiles on my boys faces were so genuine and joyful...

... it made my heart super happy!

Baby Nix joined us that day too. We we were tending him. He blends into our boys like he belongs.

Apr 12- Started the house remodel
Where to even start with this. A year before this even started we had been trying to figure out how to get a separate entrance for our basement apartment dug out. We started with a designer that gave us some ideas, but I was having a hard time imaging the vision of it all. After a month or so working with him he got sick or something and stopped contacting us. So we were forced to go down another road. We got a name from Jesse's old contractor boss and started to designing with that company.

I was liking the vision alot better. Basically tear down the garage, excavate down to basement level, pour a garage at that level, build back up on top of the garage making an addition onto the house. Which we decided would become a new kitchen.  We would then have a flat driveway and a separate entrance under the new porch and a new kitchen.

We were really eager to get going on this project by spring time (2017) but the whole process of designing it and getting approval with the city shocked us how long it took. Which it was Oct 28, 2017 that we got the final stamp of approval. But with winter right around the corner we decided we wouldn't break ground until Spring.

So Apr 12 was the day that we started this massive project. And Jesse is smart (insane) enough to do all the work HIMSELF!

I took a screenshot on my phone of our house from GOOGLE EARTH so that we will have a reference of it before we started. One day it'll be really cool to see the before and after picture on GOOGLE EARTH. We've talked about and wondered how often they update it. Because one day it's going to look like a totally different house.

See ho steep this driveway was? It was the worst in the winter. If it ever snowed it was impossible to get up it without 4WD. And we would worry about anyone coming over because the only way to get to the front door is to walk up that driveway. We had several people fall from the walk up/down the driveway. Including my sister Chan when she was pregnant.

Apr 14- Boys Dream
All the dirt and the excavators made fro our boys to be in love with the project from the start.

Apr 16- Got rid of the concrete from the driveway.

 Apr 17- Excavating... still

Apr 17- Spring Flag Football Started

 Apr 18

 Apr 19-
The mini excavator wasn't cutting it, so he rented a bigger one to move the dirt faster.

 Apr 20

We (I mean Jesse) ended up excavating 55 dump truck loads of dirt. There was lots left over that we had to save

 Apr 21...
These pictures reminds me of a sandbox full of tonka toys. Jesse would be operating the larger excavator, Mike in the smaller one (accompanied by Fynn) and Ryker moving dirt with the skid-steer. 

 Apr 22

We had to save some of the dirt to back-fill  for later, and the only places were in the side yard, backyard and in the front yard. It made me a little sad to see our beautiful corner that we dedicated many summers to beautify it.

Fynn likes to take his "Prince" life to the true level. He's surrounded by his lunch, snack, blankets while reading his books. How can I be mad at that cute grin on his face?

Apr 27- Cross E Ranch again for Grandma Heidi's birthday
I bought season passes to the ranch because you only have to go 2 times to get your money's worth. I knew we would wanna go to the Fall Festivities so why not. So I took Grandma Heidi on our passes to celebrate hr birthday.

Apr 28- Time for Footings.

By this point Jesse was the most stressed out I have EVER seen him. The pit was dug, but the dirt kept sloughing off and sliding down into the pit. He had been working NON-STOP. Sun up till sundown. He hardly ate. And the stress on top of all that made him loose 17 lbs in 2 weeks. He was the skinniest I had ever seen him.

This corner was the cause of most of his stress. Along with the dirt continually sloughing off in the pit. I remember one night he was SO TIRED but could not sleep. Several times I woke up to him sitting on the side of the bed with his head in his hands rocking back and forth. He was bawling. He couldn't sleep because his mind was envisioning one of he boys being in the pit and dirt falling on top of them.

Let me tell you about this corner. I was at work when it all happened so when I came home I could tell Jesse was stressed. I asked him what was wrong and he pointed at that corner. The railroad ties that you see the corner of are our neighbors retaining wall. While Jesse was digging along their property line he found a huge piece of concrete 8 ft buried down. The piece of concrete was a 6ft long piece of curb and gutter. Of course Jesse didn't know it was there until he knocked the tip of the concrete piece with the excavator scoop. Some idiot just buried it and Jesse was the lucky finder of it. Well when he hit it, the dirt around it loosened up and suddenly the dirt under the retaining wall came loose from that. Jesse stopped what he was doing.

Imagine working yourself to the bone, hardly sleeping, stressing out to the max and barely eating for 2 weeks. This is where Jesse was. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically so spent. I have never seen him cry so hard to me before. I wanted to help him. I prayed to know how I could and was inspired to call Steve Pugh. He's a friend that Jesse went to high school with but also engineered our plans.  It was early in the morning that I call him and he actually answered. I was expecting to get his voicemail, but he was awake already working outside (it was a Saturday on the 28th). I told him what was going on with the project and how distraught Jesse was about it all. I asked him to contact Jesse without telling him that I contacted him. Steve was at our house within the hour to look at the problem and walk Jesse through the plans. They had to change things up a little bit because that corner couldn't have anything else excavated around it.

We also had plans to go to the temple with the Seaman's that evening. I called Amber and told her what was going on and her husband, Tyler offered to come and help Jesse. Amber and I went to the temple alone while the boys worked.

When I got home from the temple and I walked into the pit and saw Jesse there surrounded by his dad and his two friends Tyler and Kris (who he works with) I couldn't help but feel like the pit was sanctioned. I could feel God's love for Jesse providing these good men to be his aid in a very trying time for him. I swear to you that the spirit was there. And looking back on this I can tell you that our prayers to keep that corner from falling into our yard was heard the first time we prayed for it. But we still had to go through the trying time and hold onto the hope that all would work out.

 Apr 30-
The footings passed inspection and we had gravel delivered for the large footing for the retaining wall.

I also have to mention how Fynn would watch for hours by the window (on rainy days) watching Dad work on the project. If he wasn't watching from the window he was outside playing in the middle of the dirt.