Oh honestly

For a week now I have not had one night of sleep that I got more than 2-3 hrs of sleep at a time. Cyrus would wake up on the dot about every 3 hrs needing pain relief again for his ear and then I would spend a bout a half hour getting him calm down. Tuesday morning(which feels like 5 days ago instead of 2) I woke up and finally decided that I needed to take him to Urgent Care. I had done everything in my power to get him better and it just wasn't happening. I feel defeated because he was put on an antibiotic. I avoid doing antibiotics until I have to and even then I still have the hardest time with giving them to my boys. Especially after Fynn's H.S.P. flare up back in 2018. I think I have PTSD from it.

So last night when I got home from the Young Women Activity Jesse was reading to Fynn upstairs and Cy was laying on the couch in my room reading a book. Everyone seemed happy. I was feeling really good yesterday considering my hard week. (Unlike the day before where I was feeling exhausted, emotional and grumpy).  I was talking with Jesse while we waited for Ryker to get home from his first Young Men activity(Yes, I can't believe it, Ryker is in YMs now)! Cy was settled in bed after him telling us he couldn't fall asleep. And not kidding, Fynn comes downstairs complaining that his ear is hurting.

At first I thought there is no way he could possibly be hurting. He is known to fake a cough just to get medicine or cough drops. Big brother has been getting alot of attention with his double earache, so he's gotta be faking this.

Well turns out he wasn't. He was up throughout the night crying about it in my room. I think Jesse and I are tired and around 2 am we were arguing about the dumbest stuff. Ugh.

I woke up and still went to the gym hoping to get a boost to get me through my work day and get the grumpy out of me. It kinda helped.

I am looking at the rest of my week hoping I can come out of it ok. Haha. And now that Fynn is showing signs of this earache thing I am praying to God that it's not nearly as bad as Cy's because I am terrified to ever put that kid on an antibiotic ever again.

I'm working today, Friday and Saturday. Saturday night I have a baby shower for my sister-in-law Tayler. Sunday we have church at 9am. I'm teaching the combined YW lesson. Ryker is getting ordained a deacon and receiving the Aaronic priesthood at 11:20am. I also have a mandatory YM/YW leadership training meeting at 2pm to go over all the new changes that are happening with the youth program in The Church! Then there is a Stake YM/YW Fireside that night at 6pm. I will need to go and so will Ryker. Phew.

I realized on Monday night all that Sunday was entailing. And I was supposed to celebrate mine and my niece's birthday on Sunday too. And not sure how to make that fit in. We decided to just meet right after Ryker's ordination and then I could leave before I need to be to my training meeting.

Needless to say, Sunday is packed with alot of stuff. And I hope I can be spiritually ready to teach the lesson and Ryker's ordination will be spiritual as well.